So, Friday night was the scariest one yet. Kenadee's oxygen levels dropped, fever spiked, & her body started to tremble....nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists ran in & started hooking her up to machines and helping her. I stood in the corner and watched like I was an on-looker into someone else's life. She responded well, oxygen levels started going up and she got "better." We were qqthen given a nurse assigned just to Kenadee which felt like sunshine hitting my face...
I think what made it more scary was this followed a recent pulmonary apt in which we were told respiratory issues would be what takes our angel from us. Sometimes I feel selfish wanting to keep her on this earth suffering in ways that I can't even imagine. I remind myself that in life, there are no do-overs, and that I have to spend each day with Kenadee to the absolute fullest.
Exhale
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Oh Lacie. You are not selfish. You are just expressing the Love that only a Mother can feel. XoXo
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